Balancing on the Edge of Insanity

Turkey Day

Happy Turkey Day everyone.  Hopefully you all are sitting at the computer reading random blogs due to a severe need to get away from those few annoying family members.  And not because you just don't have anything better to do.  If it is because you have nothing better to do... welcome to the club.  I actually have to work both my jobs today.  Meaning from 7am to 11pm I'm working.  No turkey and stuffing for me (well save for the stuff I'll be getting from my works).  No annoying family.  No fighting.  No dirty dishes to wash... you know this is sounding better and better to me.  AND to top it all of... I'm getting time and a half.  This Thanksgiving... I'm thankful for Thanksgiving =->

Hypocritical Me

I'm such a hypocrite...

I tell Mr Q that there should be NO secrets between us.  That if I ask him something he should be able to tell me the truth.  And I get angry at him when he tells me "I was asked not to tell anyone what we're doing." when it includes him in the doing of this "thing".

But I have secrets to.  Ones that I tell no one that wasn't involved with me while it was happening.  Ones that I'm either so ashamed of or disgusted with that I'd leave myself if possible.

How do you tell those types of secrets to the person you love?  Especially when they don't share their secrets back?

It's All About Being Doomed

Lately nothing seems to be going right.  I'm fighting a lot more with Mr Q, I just watched my favorite co-worker get fired, Mr Q's mom is living in my apartment at the moment, I just got over strep in my blood-stream, and (to top it all off) it's ALLERGY season.

My cousin and mom are both hinting at the fact that divorce may be my only recourse with Mr Q.  We've been having that many problems.  Only my cousin isn't so much hinting as telling me that it's what I should do.

I watched our big bosses come down yesterday specifically to fire my Amy.  They said it was because of her being sick a lot lately, but that's not the real reason.  There's others who are out more than she was (and she had doctor's notes) and they aren't getting fired.

Mr Q's mom came down almost two weeks ago.  She was supposed to be staying with us only until she could for sure get her appartment.  Then she got in a car accident coming down.  According to my lease she can only stay for 2 weeks then she either has to be a) on the lease, or b) out of my apartment.  If she's not we lose our place.  I don't think Mr Q has even bothered to tell her yet.  If I find out she's on the lease though... I'm leaving.  I've already told him I can't live with her.  There is no way.  If he'd prefer her over me... so be it.  I can't change the fact that he's mommy's little boy.  I shouldn't have to.

Strep in my bloodstream?  Nothing big.  They made me take 875 mg twice a day of amoxicillan.  Otherwise known as horse pills.  But it should be gone now.

And allergies always suck.

Nada From THIS Pinata

I promised (like two entries ago) to tell about my NEW job title at my work.  I'm now part of Client Relations and the LDS girl.  LDS standing for Legal Documentations Specialist.  Not to mention I'm now the offical LTT (Little Tiffi Tech), named in honor of our head tech-knowledge person in our main office.

ASS-umption

This morning I had a conversation with Mr Q.  And he said something that wasn't true.  So, when I told him he had no proof of it so it wasn't true, he replied with "Well... it was an assumption."

After reading a blog yesterday that had said "when you make an assumption you're making an ass out of you and umption" I changed it a little just for Mr Q.

My reply?  "Sweety, you can't spell assumption with out an ASS.  So I guess in a way you'd be right huh?"

Thank the gods Mr Q didn't take offense to it.  It sounds really pissy, but was ment as a joke.  He took it as one and just laughed at me.

Note to Self: When trying to come up with a witty reparte... chose you're words carefully as well as who you say them to...

Shopping, Learning, Worn Out

Joy of all joys.  This year seems to have started so wonderful...

Or not...

The Holidays

I seem to ramble a lot in here.  But that's what blogging is about.  Rambling and letting off steam for some, rambling and informing people about the world or their company, or just posting pictures... which is like rambling.... cause a picture's worth a thousand words and all.

Anyhow... this is supposed to be about the holidays.  Namely, Christmas.  What a joke.  It's one big Pagan holiday turned Christian so that the Christians could convert the Pagans.  And now days... it isn't even that anymore.  It's just another of the big commercialized holidays that mean lots of money for corporate businesses.

I don't really hate the holiday.  It just makes me angry sometimes.  I'm all for a day that the country says my company can tell their employees they don't have to come in.  Not that I hate work either.

It's the way I spend Christmas that really gets to me though...

Slight Insomnia

Mr Q is at work.  It's almost eleven at night.  And I should be fast asleep as I know I'll be waking up between 5 and 5:30 tomorrow morning.

I also know that I can't sleep.  I took a warm shower.  I sat in bed.  I did everything I could think of to persuade myself to sleep.  I'm restless though. 

I think I've been sleeping in the same house and same bed too long.  I've not spent this many consecutive nights sleeping in the same place since I was about six years old.  I have a gypsy heart.  I love to wander.  I'm trying to break that though.  And so, I spend nights roaming around my house unable to sleep.  Pondering things even I can't figure out.  Dreaming up conversations with the "ghosts" in my head.  Living in the world in my head until my body decides it can sleep in the same bed again tonight.

It's not that I'm not tired.  I am.  I'm just too tense to sleep.  I can close my eyes.  I can start to drift to sleep.  Inevitably though, I wake.  And I feel the need to move.  Either that or risk a body part falling asleep and getting that pin prickling feeling.  Gods I hate that feeling.  Time to go try again to sleep.

Sweet Dreams out there.

Christmas giving and making

It's the time of year a lot of people dread.  Christmas.  I'm one of those people who dread this time of year.  But mostly because of all the snow here.

I love to give presents to people all year 'round.  So Christmas is a wonderful time to do that.  Except the lack of money to get everyone something really really nice.  So I'll make things.  This year I'm making fabric picture frames and putting the only pic of Mr Q and I in them.  Then I'm making these little baskets out of white plastic grid and yarn to put the pictures and a few other small things in.  For the four kids I'm using old soda 2-liter bottles and filling them with small items suited for each kid.  I think the only person not getting this kind of thing is my youngest uncle.  He's getting a store bought, fleece, throw blanket from us.

But Christmas is also an excellent time to give more than presents.  This year, the Wednesday before Christmas, I'm going to go donate blood as well.  I'm doing it the week of Christmas because my local Red Cross said that each week of Christmas they do something special for people who donate blood.  They wouldn't tell me what though.  So, I'll go in Wednesday the 22nd and find out.  Not only am I giving... but I'm also a very curious type person.  So I guess my giving blood this close to Christmas actually has an alterior motive.  Go figure...

Surfin' the Net from Home

Today is my day off.  And I'm at home.  And I'm posting...

All because I got cable internet (insert happy dance in chair... quietly, Mr Q is asleep still).

So today I shall surf BE, play on pogo, and chat on my yahoo messanger (screenname: poison_psyco).  See you all around...